He Speaks....

I was in my shower last night and I just asked God to speak to me and make it known that He has spoken to me. I didn't want my thoughts to mix with His. So as I was washing ink off my hand that my friend so kindly scribbled on me, I saw this as the same way that God has washed me clean. The sins that the world has scribbled on me and has made me dirty, God can wash them away and make me clean again. But not only that, He has my name engraved on His hand and nothing in this world could erase that. Nothing in this world can take me out of His hand (John 10:29). You see only He can make me clean. I can scrub at the marks that this world has left on me all day and they would not be removed but because of God because of the cross I have been made clean.
God just seems to amaze me all the time. He really speaks to me a lot through images and nature but never have I seen this so plainly. It was as if, as I was wasing the ink off my hand He was showing me that He was doing the same.

My Heart Is His

I have been pondering about this verse for a few days now. God is searching for a heart that is completely His. How am I to know if my heart is completely His? What does that look like? I want to say my heart is His, but can I say it is completely His? I can’t. I have given my heart to my school, work, my job, and my friends; and have given only a piece to God. But this is all wrong. God should come first and my heart should be His. We all have a God shaped hole in our heart, and how can we expect God to fill that hole if we don’t first give Him our whole heart. God has been challenging me in this area. He wants to be first in my life. He wants everything to start and to end with Him. When I wake up, He is with me and when I go to school, He is with me. God is with me no matter where I am. He loves me no matter what I do. He loves me because He is love. I am a Child of God. How can I say that I am free to give my heart out to anyone and anything as I please, when He is the reason for my existence? God is the only reason why I am here today. Daily I want to wake up with songs of praise in my heart. Daily I want to breathe in His Mercy and Love. Daily I want to bring Glory to His Name! But I can’t do these things if my heart is not completely His. You see we can’t be Christ’s hands and feet if we are not willing to first open our hearts up to Him. Daily I have to say, “God I am yours and my heart is only yours”. My heart beats for Him. Yet another cry I have in my heart is that He breaks my heart for what breaks His. He loves all His children the same and He hurts when they hurt. I want to hurt for the broken and be filled with joy for those that have walked in to the light. I want to be those hands that feed the hungry and give water to the thirsty. I want to shed tears when my brother or sister in Christ is hurting. But none of this can be done if I do not lay my life down and give my heart to Him. It all seems to come back to this one concept of giving my whole heart to God. My heart can’t be broken if I don’t first lay it in Daddy’s hands. He is the only one gentle enough to hold my heart but yet strong enough to mold it in to what He wants it to beat for.

I don’t really know if any of this has made any sense but this is just what has been heavy on my heart lately and I just had to write something I suppose.

Token Of Love

I worte this years ago but it still seems so true...
How can I forget the sight?
Watching as you don’t even put up a fight
Getting beat till you are near death
Trying to stand makes you out of breath
Just then they hand you your weapon
The cross you are to die on for my sin
Whipping you to walk the path they have set
Each time you slow, a whip you get
Loosing you balance you fall to the ground
Too weak to go on, help they found
Together walking covered in blood
Gushing out like a river during a flood
Finally making it to the top
This is where it all seems to stop
They grab the hammer and 3 nails
Grab one arm along with a nail
Nail number one is set in place
Grabbing the other arm, pulling it out of place
Hammering it in, bone cracking, your scream deafening
With both feet the do the same thing
Raising you up into the sky
Setting you in place so you will die
Placing a crown of thorns on your head
Mocking you, for they were misled
Saying one last thing to the father above
For our life has been given as a token of love

A weight is lifted

So a few months ago I put God to a challenge because I knew that without Him I could not afford to go to school again. I have been depending on God to have my schooling paid for before the end of the semester. And here it is a week before classes start and it is almost all paid for and I actually have the money in the bank right now to pay for the final amount. It just blows my mind that He did what I was relying on Him to do but did it much sooner than I expected. I was actually in the shower last night just crying because of how good God is. I am His child and I know that I am blessed in all things because of He that is in me but I am just still amazed by how great He is. My daddy loves me so much. I mean He blessed me enough when he gave me a second chance at life, but he isn't finised with my life yet. In my head I want to say I don't deserve to have such a good life but He loves me so much and only wants the best for me. Daily I am amazed with His loving mercy. This just brings tears to my eyes now. Gosh all I can say is thank you, I love you.
the end...

Mercy Ministries

I have just graduated from Mercy Ministries and I couldn't be more happy to live. I have been given yet another chance at life. Before going to Mercy I was a mess but God has taken my mess and turned it into a message. I can't wait to see all that God has in store for me and all that I can do for Him. I never knew that God could be a daddy or a best friend but He has shown himself to be both. My junk that I have carried around for years is no longer there. I don't have that weight holding me down. It has been lifted from my shoulders and now I walk in step with my father. He has already worked everything out infront of me and has covered up everything that is behind so now I can live in the moment knowing that he is leading my every step. God is awesome. He is faithful and He will never let me go. I love having a daddy that will not leave me. He is my protector and lover. I love God and I am not ashamed of Him.