Heal the wound leave the scar

If the scars could speak what would they say? A question that I have been asked but never really thought about too much.  I mean in the moment they would scream help, Im hurting, I need a release.  They would have said that this is barely living. But what would they say now?  Even now Im not quite sure.  They don't speak as loud as they used to.  Now they are silent.  They are a reminder of who I was and how far I have come.  They remind me of His Redeeming Love.  The brokenness that was there is no longer.  They speak of pain that has been erased.  Each scar tells a different story but yet they all end the same.  They tell about the storms in my life but the good thing is that behind every dark cloud there is always a beautiful blue sky.  God was there through it all and now those clouds have gone away and all that is left is a clear blue sky.  The destruction is gone and all that is left is beauty.  So what do the scars say you still ask.  They say that death is gone and now there is life. 

Freedom

I was just thinking as I was washing my truck.. I got my dog a long lead so she can run around the yard and I don't have to hold the leash and she thinks she has complete freedom now and I was wondering how we are when we are given just a little bit more freedom. We we run around as if we have nothing to worry about or do we still stay within our normal lines.  I agree that we do have to go far and beyond but do we turn our back on the One because we have gained freedom?  I have tasted the freedom of this world and that is not freedom. That only creates chains and puts you in bondage.  I have tasted freedom from the One and that is true freedom.  This life is not my own and this freedom that world says is mine is only a lie. Freedom is His and it is ours through Him.  

Called to Love

I have been thinking a little bit today as I was driving home from work and I was just wondering when we are going to stop being so religious and love like we are told to love.  When are we going to lead the lost to Christ instead of rejecting them because they don't act like, look like, or smell like we do.  Jesus loved the prostitute and never once pointed a finger at anyone.  I don't understand how the church can refuse those that are clearly hurting. The body needs to stop seeing what the world sees and start seeing what Jesus sees.  He never rejected us now how can we reject anyone that is not where we are.  Jesus never once said that we are too far gone but yet some believe there is no use in trying to save those that have fallen.  No one is beyond our reach if we refuse to quit reaching out to them.  It is time to join in and stop rejecting the lost. They will never know the love of Christ if we refuse to share it.  We are the body and that means the heart also.  We need to be that warm touch that breaks through the cold heart. 

I know I am guilty of rejecting those that are not like me.  I have judged and turned away when I could have loved and welcomed them in.  I am ashamed in how I have treated those around me.  When I have not been treated the way I think I should be treated I get upset but that makes me wonder if I am treating those the way they would like to be treated.  I have learned a hard lesson of humility but at times my pride breaks through and I think I deserve to be treated how I want to be treated but I know I will not always be treated how I would like.  Humility is lowering myself.  If I have lowered myself and made myself under those then how am I to be treated.  I am a servant to those around me, I am a servant of God.  If I think that I am higher than others than when I am scolded for my actions then I may get angry but if I am humble and lower myself I will be content in any situation. 

Now how does this tie in to those that are lower than me and not like me? Well if I humble myself then even the prostitute will be seen as higher to me.  No person will be lower than me.  I will not look down on those around me.  All will be treated as the same and with respect.  The homeless will be treated the same as the rich and the prostitute the same as royalty.  No one is higher nor lower.  The body will no longer be separated by religion but held together by love.    

Sara McLaughlin Dear God Lyrics

We listened to this song in my class today and I just got fired up. Here are the lyrics.

Dear God,Hope you got the letter andI pray you can make it better down here.
I don't mean a big reduction in the price of beer
But all the people that you made in your image,
See them starving on their feet'Cause they don't get enough to eat
From GodI can't believe in you.
Dear God, Sorry to disturb you, but
I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in the amount of tears
And all the people that you made in your image,
See them fighting in the street'
Cause they can't make opinions meetAbout God, I can't believe in you.
Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you? And the devil too?!
Dear God,Don't know if you noticed, but...
Your name is on a lot of quotes in this book,
Us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look,
And all the people that you made in your image,
Still believing that junk is trueWell I know it ain't, and so do you
Dear God,I can't believe in...I don't believe in...I won't believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners, no devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.You're always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,And it's the same the whole world 'round.
The hurt I see helps to compound
That Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Is just somebody's unholy hoax
And if you're up there you'd perceive
That my heart's here upon my sleeve.
If there's one thing I don't believe in.....It's you.....Dear God.


I just got so sick as I was listening to this. I almost wanted to cry but then at the same time I feel as if she needs prayer. Those of you that know Lauren F. and how she loves Britney Spears and prays for her, Well we need to do the same thing for other people that have an opportunity to speak into peoples lives. Music is very influetial esp when it has a nice ring to it. So instead of saying how horrible this song is and how horrible of a person the person must be that wrote it we should look more at how much they do need God and how great it would be for them to write a song about how awesome God is esp after writing this one.
Ok well this is enough blogging for one day. I guess this is what happens when I don't have class

Though You cannot see...

I was at youth group Wed night and as the photographer for the group I was up and moving around and well during praise and worship I decided to take a break and sit in the very back corner. We had service outside so nature was all around us. Well during one of the songs I just was talking to God and I looked up to the sky and noticed the clouds and how they were moving. When I stared at them I could tell they were moving but when I looked away and back, it was as if the coulds had stayed in the exact same spot. This had me thinking. It was as if God was saying we look at situations in our lives and it seems as if they are never going to go away. These trials are here to stay but if you really look deep enough, if only you could see that these trials are not here to stay. We are just not in a position to see the work that is being done and the progress that is being made. So no matter what it is, stress, sickness, depression, anger, it isn't going to stay there. God has His hand on your life and He is working everything out for good! I am so thankful that, though I may feel as if I am just standing, I am making progress. I am becoming the person that He has created me to be. I have to keep on standing and keep on getting up. I can't lose focus and allow my own inabilities to keep me from allowing Him to use me and move me. You are moving no matter if you feel it or not.

All Things Must Come To An End

Well today is the day I head out and go back home to Tn. I am pretty sad to be leaving.
Yesterday I spent the day taking pictures in a run down area and I loved it, then saw Vistoria McCarter and spent some time at her home and today I went to Mercy again and saw a friend graduate. Kelly T is done! I am more than happy for her. She has come such a long way and God has done some amazing things in her life and she is going to change some things I can already tell. Today I also spent some time with Heidi just reflecting over the past couple months but also just on how awesome God is. God has just taken things that the devil meant for harm and made them into good. The scares are a testimony. They are a reminder of just how big my God is. They remind me of where I used to be but then I can see where I am. God has done a great work in my life. Dang its awesome! He is good guys! Just taste and see that the Lord is good!! You will never be able to turn on your back completely on Him again!
Well time to go... 8 1/2 hours and I should be home..Then I have to work at 4...blah. Pray that I am able to stay awake and don't get tired on the drive.

Mercy Trip

Today I went back up to Mercy and I thought that I was going to be the one to bless the girls but it turned out that they bless me. I took some goodies to the gilrs and hung out with them and it was so encouraging to be there. I loved seeing them get excited over such little things that people often take for granted. I got excited watching them. I want to give to them because I can see so much in store for them. I can see freedom knocking. They are so close to being the next city changers. These girls lives matter. They are so special and they all hold such a special place in my heart. I know I gave to them all I had, but somehow I feel like I have not done enough. I know that I will continue to do all that I can for them. I believe in this Ministry because I have seen how it works firsthand. I can smile in the darkness because my emotions do not matter on this world and what is around me. I can be happy when the world is telling me I should be depressed. I can give far more than I think I can afford because I know that God will bless me so that I can bless other. I believe that even if I give a dollar it will go a far way. A simple act of kindness can go so far. This trip has been the best trip I have yet to take and it has only been the first day. I am overwhelmed with how much God has blessed me. God is amazing and I am so thankful that He has changed me so much! I am not who I used to be! I have found Freedom! And I am so thankful that His Mercies are new every morning. I have a wonderful Daddy!!
Well I am going to go now because I think I just need to go and take in this day a little more. My heart is just touched beyond words....

He Speaks....

I was in my shower last night and I just asked God to speak to me and make it known that He has spoken to me. I didn't want my thoughts to mix with His. So as I was washing ink off my hand that my friend so kindly scribbled on me, I saw this as the same way that God has washed me clean. The sins that the world has scribbled on me and has made me dirty, God can wash them away and make me clean again. But not only that, He has my name engraved on His hand and nothing in this world could erase that. Nothing in this world can take me out of His hand (John 10:29). You see only He can make me clean. I can scrub at the marks that this world has left on me all day and they would not be removed but because of God because of the cross I have been made clean.
God just seems to amaze me all the time. He really speaks to me a lot through images and nature but never have I seen this so plainly. It was as if, as I was wasing the ink off my hand He was showing me that He was doing the same.

My Heart Is His

I have been pondering about this verse for a few days now. God is searching for a heart that is completely His. How am I to know if my heart is completely His? What does that look like? I want to say my heart is His, but can I say it is completely His? I can’t. I have given my heart to my school, work, my job, and my friends; and have given only a piece to God. But this is all wrong. God should come first and my heart should be His. We all have a God shaped hole in our heart, and how can we expect God to fill that hole if we don’t first give Him our whole heart. God has been challenging me in this area. He wants to be first in my life. He wants everything to start and to end with Him. When I wake up, He is with me and when I go to school, He is with me. God is with me no matter where I am. He loves me no matter what I do. He loves me because He is love. I am a Child of God. How can I say that I am free to give my heart out to anyone and anything as I please, when He is the reason for my existence? God is the only reason why I am here today. Daily I want to wake up with songs of praise in my heart. Daily I want to breathe in His Mercy and Love. Daily I want to bring Glory to His Name! But I can’t do these things if my heart is not completely His. You see we can’t be Christ’s hands and feet if we are not willing to first open our hearts up to Him. Daily I have to say, “God I am yours and my heart is only yours”. My heart beats for Him. Yet another cry I have in my heart is that He breaks my heart for what breaks His. He loves all His children the same and He hurts when they hurt. I want to hurt for the broken and be filled with joy for those that have walked in to the light. I want to be those hands that feed the hungry and give water to the thirsty. I want to shed tears when my brother or sister in Christ is hurting. But none of this can be done if I do not lay my life down and give my heart to Him. It all seems to come back to this one concept of giving my whole heart to God. My heart can’t be broken if I don’t first lay it in Daddy’s hands. He is the only one gentle enough to hold my heart but yet strong enough to mold it in to what He wants it to beat for.

I don’t really know if any of this has made any sense but this is just what has been heavy on my heart lately and I just had to write something I suppose.

Token Of Love

I worte this years ago but it still seems so true...
How can I forget the sight?
Watching as you don’t even put up a fight
Getting beat till you are near death
Trying to stand makes you out of breath
Just then they hand you your weapon
The cross you are to die on for my sin
Whipping you to walk the path they have set
Each time you slow, a whip you get
Loosing you balance you fall to the ground
Too weak to go on, help they found
Together walking covered in blood
Gushing out like a river during a flood
Finally making it to the top
This is where it all seems to stop
They grab the hammer and 3 nails
Grab one arm along with a nail
Nail number one is set in place
Grabbing the other arm, pulling it out of place
Hammering it in, bone cracking, your scream deafening
With both feet the do the same thing
Raising you up into the sky
Setting you in place so you will die
Placing a crown of thorns on your head
Mocking you, for they were misled
Saying one last thing to the father above
For our life has been given as a token of love

A weight is lifted

So a few months ago I put God to a challenge because I knew that without Him I could not afford to go to school again. I have been depending on God to have my schooling paid for before the end of the semester. And here it is a week before classes start and it is almost all paid for and I actually have the money in the bank right now to pay for the final amount. It just blows my mind that He did what I was relying on Him to do but did it much sooner than I expected. I was actually in the shower last night just crying because of how good God is. I am His child and I know that I am blessed in all things because of He that is in me but I am just still amazed by how great He is. My daddy loves me so much. I mean He blessed me enough when he gave me a second chance at life, but he isn't finised with my life yet. In my head I want to say I don't deserve to have such a good life but He loves me so much and only wants the best for me. Daily I am amazed with His loving mercy. This just brings tears to my eyes now. Gosh all I can say is thank you, I love you.
the end...